Thursday, December 20, 2007

FINALLY I CN LOG ON!!!!

finally......

after so so many attempts in logging in....i finally found out what happened to my blog address..
RILY HATE BEING SO COMPUTER ILLITERATE!!

N the slow internet connection in jogja is not helping....
by the time i figure out what's goin on,i hv a huge headache from staring too long at the screen!

so now im back to blogging....to rambling like a mad women...
haha.too bad for u guys...

anyway,
my beloved rabbit died.

i ws so so in love w her...a super adorable ANGORA rabbit..
she ws barely a month old and i had her for less than a week
n den we had carolling in my rented house.
n all the ppl came to watch us 'spread the JOY'...
n as usual la,ppl who cum,dey c ur rabbit,n dey go nuts over her...

'ahhh....so cuuuuutte...cn i play w her???!!!pls.....'

n i mean,i'll jz look selfish if i say no rite?
so me bein nice n unselfish n kind n blah blah blah..
decided to let dem play w her.
now trust me when i tel u dis:
NEVA TRUST PPL/FRENS/BATCHMATES/HUMANS other than urself with things dat u treasure deeply,cuz in d end dey neva treat it as carefully as how u wud treat it...

n so d my rabbit ws traumatised with their handling....i hv completely no idea how d hell dey handled her but d next day

MY RABBIT DIED

u cn imagine how pissed off i ws...
she ws barely 1 month old..a baby!!!
n dey fuckin killed her.murdered her.in cold blood.
she ws scared to death.cn u imagine bein frightened to death??!!!!!!!

i swear i'll neva trust ANYONE w what i treasure.cuz dey'll jz tk4granted n destroy it.
ruined my christmas summor.
i cried 4a whole day n ws pissed w d whole world for a real long tme.
bt she's gone...POOFY is gone,n no amt of rage or remorse wil eva bring her bac.

SO HERE'S TO POOFY....
she ws d best rabbit any1 cud hv.im sori i ws so negligent n contributed2ur death.
wish i cud change wat happened bt i cant.
may u remain in our hearts 4eva n may u b in peace wherever u r rite now.

love,
sophia

Thursday, August 09, 2007

why....

dis few months hv been a perfect bliss...
im so so hapi w him n he jz tks good care of me...

but 2day,suddenly....i duno y..
i ws jz a sudden feelin of d need to b away fr him..
hv i bn spendin too much tme?it's so odd...

we were happily eatin in kim gary,chattin n havin fun ,
den i went off2 d washroom..n when i came bac fr d washrm,it ws lk,sudd i was another person...i din lk d closeness anymor,felt lk i needed space all of a suddn..
din wan2 b lovey-dovey.din feel d need2b close..

suddenly,i felt d need to kp my personal space 2myself...
dis so dusn mk sense at ALL!!!sum1 who's bn thru dis xplain wat's goin on to me!!!!
im goin mad...how cn i sudd not hv feelins4my bf anymore...dat's lk horrible...sudd feel lk maintainin a distance..
sigh...y do i sudd feel pullin away...??????
i dun understand...n even if it's normal...
lk,d feelin wil fade a bit,it shud happen gradually,slowly,not all of a sudden afta comin bac fr d washrm!!
@@???

y?y? i dun get it....argh......it's so horrible......
hw cn i sudd not wan2 b close 2 him anymor...sigh...n nothin happend in d washrm 2trigger it...i din c any1,i din do anytin out of d ordinary...
WHY???

sum1 pls tel me it's gonna b ok....
cant lose feelngs4 a person dis easily!
sigh...help.....!

Monday, February 26, 2007

randomness

u jz feel like crap...
u feel lk shit n unwanted n unloved (even tho off hand u can name quite a few ppl who love u)
these r days when u feel like punching sum1 or urself or hittin the world or jz drowning urself...
ahhh....
ppl r jz so tiring sumtimes...i wanna be w ppl who i can click w...who i dun hv to try so hard..i feel so tired la....
i wan2 be free...i wan2 break free...
ah....kim ong...everfree...
freedom fr tryin so hard..freedom fr bein w ppl who u jz pretend 2b fun w or in comparison w all d other ppl,u prefer hangin out w dem...
i wan2 go home la.....i tink mayb im jz home sick...
ah....i feel lk punchin sum1..or kissin sum1.
my tots r so jumbled up...i wan2 tk sum1 in my arms n cry n cry n cry...
n complain...n i duno la.i duno,i duno,i wan ian....
wat's wrong w me...he's jz sum random,nerdy...im mad la.
desperation breeds destruction.y cant i grow up n post bout othr stuff...
evrytin;s bout guys.evry post is cuz i hv issues w dis guy or dat..im a pot la.
i miss so so many ppl dat i use 2b damn close w.i mis my old lfe..
WAT AM I DOIN HERE???i m tired.im so tired.cant tk it.nd 2release my emotions.ah.........................feel lk pullin out my hair.
gimme an oar
gimme freedomlet me run barefoot among the lilies.
or jz place me in a field of lilies
let me b who i am
let me speak my mind
let snow fall in my roomlet rain drench me n nt fall ill
fill my heart w pink candy floss
shower me w ur love
let it rain gumdrop kisses cover the ground w clouds,
walk n pretend im in heaven
gimme life in a bowl of guppies
let me sit n stare 4eva n eva n eva
gimme life n let it feel real
let it be like wat i dream of.

Friday, January 19, 2007

comb in hair...

yeah...which idiot has ever had dat happen 2dem b4...??

me.

it's jz a sucky day4me....started in the mornin when my milk which i keep faithfully in the fridge ws suddenly in inexplicably thick n coagulated.it tasted fine...so i tried shakin it to liquidify it.

unfortunately 4me,the cover ws not tightly on,milk flew all over my study table,ie:all my notes,exp med books-->milk-tilated.
milk on floor,on wastepaper basket....at 5am in the mornin.

fuck.

if i had known at dat tme dat my day ws gonna get worse...i'd hv added more colour to my vocab...

took a bus to uni,as usual.
4got to mention.i'm damn freakin broke now,so takin bus to uni n walkin bac...far cry fr takin cab evry day...thk God we've been safe so far,the stories we hear bout buses,scary.
broke as in REALLY broke,only rp320,000 for 20days til my fixed deposit matures n i can touch the money my parents left me.dat equals to arnd rp11k per day.exchange rate rm1=rp2,400+ do the math.
n the 27th is a sat meanin i can only do the transaction on mon,29th,meanin i hv 2whole days wher i hv NO CASH AT ALL....ARGH!!!
so with all this in mind,i will return to the story of my blasted day..

so as i ws sayin,went to uni.n histo lab ws a HUGE drag....goodness..so freakin irritatin starin at slides.yeah,n at the end of it i put the slides back in the cardboard cover book,picked it up n "piang....(glass breakin sound)"

GREAT.

all eyes on me,all slides on the floor.sophia:"shit...!shit,shit.oh shit..."

1 slide= rp10k...3slides broke=rp30k
for a person who's DIS broke n alrdy hs 2starve for2days.that's lk shit.
thk God 4frens who slumberly pay for u first n not make a big deal about it.
i alrdy owe her so much money!!she actually paid for my credit cuz she knew i ws completely broke.

so now i jz wasted almost rm14 on freakin slides.u noe how many meals i can eat w dat money????

n i head home,take my bath,thk God dat i can hv some rest...
n so i stand in front of my mirror combing my hair,thk God i can rest..den later i hv to do my physio lab report,my biochem lab report,study anat....huh??
my comb's stuck.
tug..tug...it's rily stuck.

tug,tug.pull,untwine.
tug tug tug tug tug tug tug tug tug tug tug tug tug tug tug tug

ARGH...!!!
stare at reflection.
tug tug tug tug,pull pull,untwine,pick,pull,tug...

dis goes on for half an hour but i shal spare my alrdy pathetic number of readers d details...(or readeR..wait,wat m i thinkin.who reads?!)

msg karen,SOS,help...
hw do u tel sum1 u hv a comb stuck in ur hair???
she ws sleepin.
so i had to keep tryin.

comb stuck in hair at 2.45pm.
slept off tryin to wake karen up...karen knocks at 5.30pm.
praise GOD.
now i can get the comb out of my hair,we'll hv a gud laugh,n i cn get back to my work......

half an hour of silence...
"is it dat bad??"

Karen:"erm...."

"oh no...."

K:"it's vry tangled at the tip of the comb(it's a round comb by the way)....."

10min of silence...

K:"i tink u shud go to a saloon."

"oh no...it's dat bad-ar???rily cant be saved?"
K:"it's bad la gal...go ther,dey can help.if cant untangle it,den u'll hv to cut..."

"huh?????dis can only eva happen to me la...wat nut does dis???"

call frens,ask for help..1st instinct,call mr baggy pants,the guy i hv a crush on nw...
n for sum weird inexplicable reason i cudn stop laughin.man,it ws so so so embarrasing!!i tink he got kinda irritated afta a while n when i said i'll hv to calm dwn n call him bac he said:"pls make it quick..." (he's so...not lk dat..mz hv irritatd him to da max.

anyway,when i called him again n told him w GREAT difficulty,in btwn guffaws of laughter,dat i hv a comb stuck in my hair...he quickly understood why i ws laughin so hard..
at dat tme,it seemed funny...he ws like "u hv a WAT?stuck in ur hair>???"
"is it dat bad?try unravellin it?(lk we haven been doin dat 4d past 1hour...)"

soph:"can u do me a huge favour n tk me to ambarukkmo mall to try n untwine it??cuz if cant den i tink it needs to be chopped off(n if u're ther to giv me emo support maybe v cn build our relationship n hopefully u'd like me too....??haha...)"

"try puttin oil??how in the world did a comb get stuck ther???????wat were u doin w the comb????"

soph:"i duno.....jz dun ask...n stop laughin!!!(even tho i ws laughin so hard i ws tearing....)

10 min of oil later...it's stil stuck.
he couldn't take me though...he ws going out ON A DATE w a gal he's intersted in.which is obviously not me...
haha..(laughter is the easiest way to ease the ‘ouch’ of ur heart.)

so dat leaves me w no option but to ask another guy who'd NEVA let me hear the end of it.sigh.change of outlook...nw it seems damn depressin.
called weng kit for help.
at dis point i sounded lk i ws about to cry....so laughter didn't ensue...

he arrived 10min later.
With a whole gang of guys.great!
“weng kit!!!y r dey all here???”
“We jz had to see it.wat did u do la??”
I turned around.all I had to do was stand ther,words were not necc to explain the situation…

N yes,evry1 burst into laughter.
“how the heck did a comb get stuck ther???”…..n yada yada..the usual que u’d ask a gal who has a COMB stuck in her hair.

so i went to amplaz(ambarukkmo mall/plaza).n d lady said who did dis??
sheepishly:"me.."
"u did it to urself???????" (all customers in hair saloon starin at me...sum gals giggling away...argh,cant a gal stick a comb thru her hair n get sum peace???!!!!)

it had to be cut la....
no choice.it couldnt be untangled.
n dis at the point of my 'i-wanna-grow-my-hair-long-cuz-it-looks-damn-sexy-long-n-str8' period.

nw i look poofy.the haircut makes my cheeks look chubby...my rebounded hair is no longer rebonded.

n im 1week more to exam.
sigh...sux.